Sometimes life can get so confusing. I am the kind of girl who plans and organizes. I need a Plan A and a Plan B and a Plan C and each of these plans have a smaller plan a, b, c. Somehow in the last couple of years, yes since I officially became a single parent, every time I think I have all my ducks in a row, the stream itself takes a turn and my poor ducks get lost. The only thing certain has been the uncertainty. People say, by people I mean all those self help gurus, that a kid needs a stable life. So if personally something big has happened then stay put in one place. Hence I had the choice of fixing my ass in one place, waiting for him to pay childcare, which hasn't happened for the last two years or getting up, taking charge and becoming independent. So I thought what is the lovely example I want to set for my child? Duh!
I have a masters in marketing but that is of no use when you are trying to get a job because nobody cares if you are a straight A student, all they ask for is field experience. And all the experience I had was of being a doormat, and that's not attractive on your resume. But I still tried, even got a job, relocated and a couple of months later the company got into.. lets see nobody had jobs anymore. Then I tried again, but in vain.I hit the job market when recession hit the world. Finally I decided to get a degree in something technical that is not affected by the market boom and bust. But it comes with a lot of guilt and immediate uncertainty. Her life, her school, her friends. What will happen next. But in the long run it will help us get settled. Also Mia will have the live example, that when you are thrown into shit, not to sit on the ass and wait for something to happen. Our life is in our hands, we make things happen. One man, one incident, one failure cannot push baby in the corner ;).
Sometimes the guilt eats me up. But many times there is this hope for the future we deserve. I just want us to be settled and in one place from when she is 5 till she graduates. And the deadline is getting closer. But I will get there. We will get there.
So here is my new mantra "When everything is unclear and hazy and none of the plans are falling into place just move on into the haze like life's an Indiana Jones movie and enjoy the adventure"
I have a masters in marketing but that is of no use when you are trying to get a job because nobody cares if you are a straight A student, all they ask for is field experience. And all the experience I had was of being a doormat, and that's not attractive on your resume. But I still tried, even got a job, relocated and a couple of months later the company got into.. lets see nobody had jobs anymore. Then I tried again, but in vain.I hit the job market when recession hit the world. Finally I decided to get a degree in something technical that is not affected by the market boom and bust. But it comes with a lot of guilt and immediate uncertainty. Her life, her school, her friends. What will happen next. But in the long run it will help us get settled. Also Mia will have the live example, that when you are thrown into shit, not to sit on the ass and wait for something to happen. Our life is in our hands, we make things happen. One man, one incident, one failure cannot push baby in the corner ;).
Sometimes the guilt eats me up. But many times there is this hope for the future we deserve. I just want us to be settled and in one place from when she is 5 till she graduates. And the deadline is getting closer. But I will get there. We will get there.
So here is my new mantra "When everything is unclear and hazy and none of the plans are falling into place just move on into the haze like life's an Indiana Jones movie and enjoy the adventure"
No comments:
Post a Comment