Trust her...

The big "Daddy Question".. this is one thing that plagues almost every single mom at some point. Honestly if you are one of those moms who has a cool answer to the question, kudos to you. I dont. I did not start of being a single mother by choice.. a lousy spouse made that choice for me. Now I can happily and proudly say I am a single mom but it took time to get there. Mia, my sweet little girl, and I moved away from her father when she was two years old. Initially, a couple of times, she would ask if he was in office. Then there were no questions until she started pre school. Luckily we met a few single moms and coincidently all of them had girls. Sometimes I wonder if its a coincidence or if in my country and culture its easier for a man to leave his wife and daughter but not his son. Well.. thats a subject again for another day. I feel like every post I write I leave an opening for another post. ;) Back tot he daddy question.. everytime she talks about Daddy I get scared. Not that she asks me about him, she knows he lives in another country. I dont want to tell her that he is a douche bag. Yes it is a fact but thats not fair to her. And I do not want to paint a pretty picture lest she imagines and expects anything from him. He hasnt paid child support or bothered to contact her ever since we left. But that was not my fear.
She is a super friendly kid. She talks to everyone and enjoys the novelty factor of new people. What if the first time she meets him, which will eventually happen in court, she goes off to him. Yes he is a horrible man who has almost killed her.. no exagerration there. Also the only reason he would want her, is so that he doesnt have to pay me child support and he will eventually just dump her on his mother who has the weird beleif that "girls are ok, but boys are amazing". But Mia doesnt know all this, she is too young for me to tell her the Stephen King graphic horror story that her sperm-family is. Hence the fear - of  not just losing her away from me, but also the bright wonderful kid that she is getting lost in this bucket load of crap.
But it hit me recently.. trust her... she is a smart kid. She loves me. She might not be able to see others for what they are yet but she definitely sees me for the love I have for her. It is an insult to her, if I am afraid. And offcourse no sane judge will give the child to that father. So here is what I say to her now when she asks about her daddy " Yes he is in so and so place, working. We do not live with him anymore because daddy stopped loving mommy and started making some careless decisions which were not safe for Mia and Mamma".  It is a diluted version of the reality and also less confusing for her than my previous " Mia is a special child whose Mommy is both mommy and daddy".  And our charming life moves on..