Hair hair everywhere, and my crazy mind goes anywhere

Jennifer Lawrence says the darnest of things. Usually she cracks me up but today she got me thinking with her armpit vagina. Yes people today at the SAG awards red carpet she said she has "armpit fat, thats ok but armpit vagina is bad". And now I am standing in front of the mirror rating myself on the scale of armpit fat to armpit vagina! Like armpit hair wasn't bad enough! Even Julia Roberts could not pull that one off. Its not just there, but hair everywhere. Shave your hands, shave your legs, shave there, everywhere. We women got dealt a very poor hand. Not fair, not fair at all. Sometimes I just do not want to go out because its hot as hell to wear pants and I am in no mood to shave my legs to wear a skirt. I bet its happened to loads of us. Then there are those who are flabbergasted that I shave instead of wax. When you shave your hair grows back coarse as man's, they say. Your skin gets dark, they moan. Then there is this mystery of ingrowth, they threaten me with. So I decided ok let me wax. Doing it at home was the messiest thing ever and that's something coming from a mom who has just crossed the toddler rearing phase. When I got rid of the sticky gooey stuff, by that I mean I threw away the container, the pots and pans, my clothes, some cushions and anything that came in contact with the wax in my house, other than me off course, I went to the parlor. The very friendly lady there checks me out and tells me I don't have enough hair to wax!! So I figure one has to grow the hair until she looks like a cross between a bear and a chimp to be able to be eligible for a wax. So here I am back to shaving, and praying that a day will come when mysteriously all the unwanted hair will disappear and I can continue to be lazy and yet be pretty. Ha Ha. 

My body in flash-back was awesome..

 I am 5 foot 6 and weight 170 pounds. There I said it. Well also I am anonymous hence easier to "say it" :D Now I am FAT. But this feeling that I am fat is not new. Its funny and sad that I thought I was FAT when I saw 18 yrs and 52kgs. I thought I was FAT when when I was 23 and 62 kgs.  I thought I was FAT when I was 25 and 58kgs. Its not funny it is plain stupid. Was I blind or did I never see my pictures! I wonder. Today when I look at my pictures when I was 67kgs with a one year old baby.. I freaking look good, actually I do look the yummy mummy that my friends told me I was. At that time I thought they were being polite. Why did I dislike my body so much? What did my poor body do to me? I know the answer it was pressure or it was comments. My friends were skinny .. not to be mean but yes they were sticks, I had boobs and butts like an 18 yr old girl should have. They called me FAT.. to make themselves feel better. But I bought into it. The truth was I saw skinny and they were sticks.  I had a bloody purrrfect body.
Why do we women find it so hard to love out body? The body honestly does not have any say in how it looks. Its the two Ms - Mind and Mouth, that makes our body what it is. My mind tells me I am fat and my mind gets sad and then my mind tells my mouth lets eat and offcourse the mouth eats and eats and eats till the body becomes like the drum, I am treating it like. A huge rounded drum.
Today I apologize to my body for being so disrespectful and not loving it when it when it has done nothing not to deserve it. And my mind is saying kudos.. now lets go eat! Freak show man.. freak show.